Mental Toughness Mindset

Lakhs

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My mindset is not where I would want it to be. I still see patterns of fear and childhood bullshit acting out. Fear of screwing up often stops me. Can someone recommend any books or other alternatives to get over this nonsense.

I am grateful for any input. Thanks
 

"People that read books don't take action! They read books instead of taking action. They use that as a reason to procrastinate." - Dan Peña

The only way to change is with ACTION. Not reading about acting, not thinking about acting, but only by taking action. There is no book that's going to get you out of your current situation cause they are all generalized for the masses. It comes down to your individual situation, and no book is tailored towards your fears, your circle of influencers, your past, and your environment.

People that recommend books are just giving you another excuse to procrastinate. They've been reading books their whole lives yet haven't taken any serious action towards their goals or the change they want to bring to their lives. Those people can hate me, vilify me, and run back to their Skype groups to continue the mental masturbation that disagreeing with me is the right course, but they'll be sitting around not taking action still, While the ones that understand in order to change you have to start with action, at some point will say "fuck it I gotta take my life into my own hands".

First it starts with your circle of influencers. When I was in elementary school we used to have one-up games on who would get the highest score on tests and quizzes. Everyone wanted to out do each other and since we were only influenced by our classmates we all excelled at learning, studying, and focus. But then I moved down to the savage lands and these savages were actually bragging about who did the worse possible job on tests and classwork.

That was completely demotivating, and I started to slack since 99% of the school was learning shit I learned in the 2nd grade, fucking savages, still can't divide by fractions in their head in high school. That black and white reality showed me the people I hang around with influence me the most. So as you evaluate your life look at your circle of friends, influencers, family members, and people you interact with. First get rid of the people who aren't going anywhere in life, the guys that will be partying on the weekends and fucking around for the next 20+ years. Then talk to the people that you want to stay in your life and explain that you have to be at a certain mental level and if they want to stay in your life they can't be wasting your time and bullshit around.

Next write down your interactions, and what you accomplished as daily reports to yourself. At the end of the day evaluate where each interaction with that person benefited your goals directly. If it didn't reduce that interaction. Next look at the things you spent your time doing that day. Did each of those things benefit your end goals directly? If not, get rid of them. Do this for the 30 days (obviously continue this forever since it'll help you stay on task). That will embed the habit of being accountable to yourself that night on what you did that day. You'll notice you'll start to change what you do and focus on. After 30 days you just created a habit of reporting, and you've slowly weeded out the waste of time interactions, waste of time events, and are now mainly focusing on this which mattered to your end goal (aka your business, or your further education, or your career - yuck).

But the only way to do this is by writing down daily what you did, who you interacted with, and being as honest as possible to yourself, since you are the only one reading it, on whether you are moving forward towards your goals. Even an inch more than you were at yesterday is better than procrastinating. There will be inch days and there will be mile days, but just keep focusing and moving towards your goals.

Also you'll need to handwrite down your goals (not fucking type it up on a computer, but handwritten, cause there is power in seeing your goals in your own handwriting) and review them 4-5 times a day. Put them on an index card and read them in the morning and at night, and at times where you are feeling tired and your mind wants to wander and do something lazy or non-productive. Now if you have vague weak goals then you'll never get to where you want to be. If you have specific goals, like make $50K monthly income from project X, then you have a course to set your life at. Once you accomplish your goals, cross them off and then set new ones. Set high goals and do work towards those goals.

I wrote more about this in the Mental Strength Day of the Crash Course.

You can waste time reading some book and patting yourself on the back cause you think it means you are taking action, it's not. Only taking action is taking action. The only way to change your mental state is by changing the influences around you which help shape your mental state.

"If you want things to change, first you have to change." - Dan Peña
 
Everyone has issues or things they would consider flaws in their personality. These 'flaws' could be the one thing pushing you forward in your marketplace.

Richard Branson has been described as someone who is erratic, self absorbed, and spacey. If he wasn't those things he wouldn't have sold Virgin records to start an airline or probably even have started a record company.

Probably doesn't make much sense but this thread came up and this crap has been on my mind lately. I just wouldn't stress these as the issues holding you back.
 
There's two ways to solve these issues, as I see it:

1) Behaviorally
2) Cognitively

Behaviorally is exactly what CCarter just talked about. You have to act despite the fear first and then you become different internally as your mind won't tolerate the cognitive dissonance. You can't possibly hold a definition of your self that isn't in alignment with your actions. So you change your actions despite everything else and your mind follows along.

Cognitively means that you can solve it internally without physical action, but make no mistake. This is mental action. You cannot solve issues like this at the same level of cognition at which they operate. You have to go deeper/higher (whichever term feels better for you).

The main thing is to shift your identity beyond your thoughts and feelings to becoming the observer of your thoughts and feelings. This is called meta-cognition, being aware of how you are thinking and feeling as it's occurring. Not just being aware, but living in that slightly detached state. Now you have the capability to direct the actors instead of just being another actor yourself, slave to chemicals and engrams and traumas. This is one way to gain insight without ever leaving your sofa, and possibly enough insight to dissolve problematic thinking-habits or at least see them for what they are and start engaging in exposure therapy and thought replacement, etc.

Obviously, I'm in this same boat. But I'm getting better. It's incremental. Every win removes another piece of gunk and gives you more power to remove the next. Good luck!
 
Thank you @CCarter for the 'how to' that I can implement and giving me a kick in the backside.
Thank you @Ryuzaki for the explantion on cognition and how I can change
I really appreciate the help. Time to GET TO WORK and implement
 
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